There’s a reason why most rap writers and bloggers I know are either single or dating each other and it’s our own fault. It has everything to do with the lifestyle of those that chase interviews, hang out in stage wings during concert times, stumble in at 3 a.m. on a Tuesday, live in their phones and blast the Internet with their thoughts and opinions that make each one of us so difficult to cuff.
Rappers and producers have always gotten the stigma in hip-hop of being the nearly un-dateable ones, but in the digital era, with the recent influx of blogger identities and the power keyboard warriors are given with each post, writers have become the new stigmatized aliases given the bad rap from anyone serious about getting serious.
Writers love the shine and attention – once only reserved for just the hip-hop artists – with their button-pushing articles and exclusive interviews, but with great content comes great responsibility, which means there’s perks and downfalls of being on their arm or in their beds.
It’s difficult to settle down with someone that’s never truly settled, chasing one ratchet headline and beef inducing quote after another. The job of a journalist or blogger is never finished and there’s nothing about the rap lifestyle that spells ‘happily ever after.’
I was lucky enough to have met my other half three years ago, when I first entered the industry as a writer. He’s been with me and supported my career from my first big interview with Raekwon and my first cover story with Kendrick to covering music festivals overseas. I know he’s rare and I know I’m blessed. But as a professional athlete, he comes with his own list like this. We talk about our jobs all the time and the stigmas attached to being with someone like us. Although the wifey life of an athlete has been showcased excessively from reality TV, to tell-all books and headlines, the issues (good and bad), of dating rap editorialists have never been spotlighted to any similar degree.
With our feet up and a glass of red wine in hand, I asked bae about what it’s like to date someone with an occupation like mine and he was as honest as he always is.
“Movie nights suck.” – Rap writers don’t know how to put down their phones and just be still. Even on lazy nights when there are no events and the motive is sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on, streaming back to back episodes of “Orange Is The New Black” under the covers, bloggers and journos don’t seem to know how to put the phone down and just stop scrolling. It’s like we’re afraid of missing something, always on edge that OVO may drop a new Soundcloud banger or Rihanna’s breasts might pop up somewhere on the Internet again. And we just can’t miss an opportunity to add our witty commentary on the matter and earn us more brownie points (known as followers).
It’s like we’re afraid of missing something, always on edge that OVO may drop a new Soundcloud banger or Rihanna’s breasts might pop up somewhere on the Internet again. And we just can’t miss an opportunity to add our witty commentary on the matter and earn us more brownie points (known as followers).
“Twitter is a third wheel.” – Even if it’s a $200 date, you can bet the entire social media stratosphere is coming too, with endless phone notifications from retweets, favourites, comments, questions, Facebook pokes (yes, people still do that) and Instagram likes. And just hope that your editor doesn’t post your latest article making your phone go from 0-100 real quick. This is life unless you learn to put the phone on silent when it’s alone time.
“I have to out-compliment the internet.” – If journalists or bloggers have any type of success, they will have supporters and fans that will read, share, retweet and comment on every post, article or picture they post online. Bloggers like Lowkeys and Kaz even have groupies, because Internet fame is just that real. A phone always blinging and egos always being stroked by Internet randos ups the ante of the job of a blogger bae. They just better have the first retweet, wittiest comment and most supportive commentary on each article, or there may be issues. And for God’s sake, at least read their work.
“You’re liver than the mandem.” – Okay, so it’s not all bad. In-depth debates about the legacy of the Carter 2 during trips to the grocery store and naked Schmoney Dance parties with your other half make rap writers lowkey liver than the crew.
There is no way you can date a rap writer or any type of individual in the music industry with any type of insecurity or trust issue. It just won’t work.
“Plus ones come clutch.” – Of course, with an extra concert ticket, media pass or plus one on the guest list there’s only one obvious choice to bring. “Thanks for putting up with my deadline stress, want to go see Juicy J with me?” From Valentine’s Day at Jagged Edge, media pit during a Trap Wiz set and camera assistance during Tech N9ne and MGK interviews, the perks of being a rap writer’s number one supporter aren’t too bad. And on a sappy note, it’s also a great feeling to be able to share some favourite moments and career highlights with the one you love.
“Your work is a time capsule and nothing is off the record.” – Bun a scrapbook, how about published articles and blog posts with detailed highlights to remember legendary moments and events? Hour-long debates become columns, quotes become sources and everything becomes inspiration for a new story.
“Late nights and rapper friends come with the territory.” – There is no way you can date a rap writer or any type of individual in the music industry with any type of insecurity or trust issue. It just won’t work. It takes a special type of man/woman to know that your other half is out until 2 a.m. talking to rich and famous people while the Henny flows. But I guess Breezy didn’t factor in that his song of the summer doesn’t apply to all of us.
Dating a rap writer means nights sitting side-by-side in bed working silently on separate laptops until it’s time to read the first, second and third draft of an article with the daunting task of picking which one sounds better (even if they are all relatively the same.)
“Respect the craft and the independence.” – Dating a rap writer means nights sitting side-by-side in bed working silently on separate laptops until it’s time to read the first, second and third draft of an article with the daunting task of picking which one sounds better (even if they are all relatively the same.) Transcribing, fact checking, editing and writing time are a sacred alone time and intruding on the process and the flow of it are detrimental.
Rap writers are difficult and it takes a special type of superhero to put up with us. But even with a round-the-clock job, it’s important to juggle a career and personal life or else the relationship is doomed from the jump. Like anything, there needs to be balance; a moment where we learn to log-off, close Microsoft Word and give our time and affection to the person there supporting us through it all.
“There’s a respect in watching someone you love doing something that they love. The same way I am to your career, you are to mine and there’s a balance and a symmetry in that,” he said.